The Basketball Diaries

Basketball Diaries:    

WARNING:  There will be spoilers...if that sort of thing might matter to you.

This movie was released in 1995 and stars Mark Walberg, LorraineBracco, Juliette Lewis, James Madio, and Leo Dicaprio.  

This film is based on the life of Jim Carroll in his teenage years whilst he was facing his demons in his slow downward spiral of chemical dependency. 

One of my readers suggested I should review this movie for my next blog post and I think I shocked him in letting on that I had never seen this movie.  Perhaps it was because of my absolute disinterest in sports.  I don't think I would have even included this movie in the near-future without his suggestion...but being that it is based on a true story, definitely intrigued me.  (I'm a sucker for non-fiction).  

 Whenever I think of this movie I flashback to 1999 after the tragedies of Columbine occurred and Basketball Diaries was one of the movies that the media had placed blame upon for said tragedies.  I personally find it to be ridiculous that anyone could even blame Hollywood for such events.  

Basically, this movie is about:  The life of Jim Carroll and a lot of drugs, high school, drugs, basketball, more drugs, and love…all while living in New York.

((SPOILERS LIKE A MOFO ---DOWN BELOW – DUH!!))

I love that the film opens with a tourettes lady attempting to pray, which wakes up our lead character, Jim Carroll (Leo).  Cut to:  Jim in his Catholic School causing the shocked and disgusted looks of his classmates as Jim takes a beating in front of the class by Father McNulty with a large wooden paddle.  >>>Right of the bat we realize that Carroll is a bit of a trouble-maker or perhaps just a troubled teen?<<<

Cut to: A basketball game, the boys eating burgers afterwards and then confronted by the opposing team for ripping them off. 

(Apparently it is customary that Jim and his friends go through the lockers of the opposing team and steal money and valuables.)  Jim and his friends beat the snot out of the opposing team and run off.

I love that the movie is laced with Jim’s ingenious poetry and quotes.     “…time sure flies when you’re young and jerking off.”

Apparently in New York, one must jump into the Harlem River to prove one is not a “punk.”  That is just what Jim, Pedro, Neutron, and Mickey conquer next in the film.  As the viewer one gets a sense of a “normal” boyhood and the closeness the four friends share; Although apparently there was a fifth to their pack, Bobby, who shortly after this scene, passes away from Leukemia.

The drug use gets worse and the film continues …

Then the infamous dream sequence scene that was shown repeatedly on news shows during the time of Columbine in 1999:  Jim walks into his school and starts shooting students while yelling obscenities and his friends laughing.  Jim then wakes up as Father McNulty yells “wake up, Jim, it’s later than you think!”  Jim exits to the locker room with Pedro and Mickey.  

  

The boys are sorting out a bag of pills and trying to figure out which ones are the uppers.  Neutron walks in and tells them to put that shit away before Coach Swifty walks in.  After Neutron is alone with Jim, he asks Jim what’s going on with him since it appears that all he cares about is getting high.   

Jim tells him that he doesn’t need to hear this from him.  So Neutron changes his tone to sarcasm and tells Jim, “everything’s cool, you look great, I’ll see you in the NBA” and walks out.   

More basketball follows as Jim looks absolutely smashed as he plays.

(((Jim has now raised suspicion and concern with his mother, school faculty, and now his friends that don’t use on a daily basis.  As per Jim’s diary entry, he is even aware that his use has become more frequent, yet he shows no intention of doing anything about the problem because he sees no problem.  Why?  Because Jim doesn’t have enough pain to change and no real consequence.  This would suggest the Pre-contemplation stage of change, as Jim most likely has no intention of changing the behavior in the foreseeable future, under-aware of the problem, and was resistant when Reggie later tries to help Jim alter his behaviors.)))

The basketball game quickly becomes a mess as Jim and Mickey are both drugged out.  Father McNulty walks into the Gym during the game with two police officers.  We then see them in the locker room as the police are searching their lockers for drugs but come up empty-handed.  

(Jim’s drug-use is now resulting in consequences!)

Consequence No. 1:  Father McNulty gets angry and suspends Jim and Mickey for a week.  Coach Swifty chips in, “and you’ll never play basketball here again, that you can count on!”  Jim informs Swifty that he quits the team and the school and this whole “faggot-ass scene.”

Mickey seems more concerned with the fact that they just lost $40 worth of pharmaceuticals while Jim is concerned that they just got kicked out of school.  (((BUT technically they didn’t get “kicked out” he told them he quits!  Fucking idiots!)))

Consequence no. 2:  Jim gets kicked out of his house when his mother confronts him about selling pills in the school yard, which Jim quickly denies.  Jim’s mom sarcastically asks if it’s a whole conspiracy against him then shows him a bag of pills that she found in his room, “what are you gonna tell me, they’re vitamins?”  Jim rebuts with “fuck you, Ma!”  Mom throws Jim’s trophy down to him from an open window and tells him that she can’t watch him kill himself.  Jim picks up the trophy, lights a cigarette then throws the trophy away.

>>>This seems like an accurate metaphor for Jim throwing away all of his accomplishments, hard work, and dreams while his mother is just heartbroken and doesn’t know what else to do at this point.  Consequences are now arriving and Jim continues his drug use.  Why?  Most likely because he has no positive support and no glimmer of hope and has no clue what recovery even is at this point.  He needs to keep from being sick so without school and relationships (his mother) he can pursue his drug use full-time.<<<

 

Now pursuing DRUGS as a full-time job; Jim, Pedro, and Mickey are turning to crime in order to get money for their drugs.  They steal a car for Mickey’s brother but that doesn’t end well for the boys. 

Jim, Pedro, and Mickey break into a restaurant to steal anything of value.  Pedro ends up getting caught and hauled away.  Later, Jim and Mickey are sitting in a bar and see Neutron on TV playing for the all-American high school game.  Jim watches as Neutron is then interviewed at the end and discussing his possible college scholarships.

((Almost as if Jim is realizing what he could have had if he would have stayed on the straight and narrow.))

And a little later, Jim wakes up at Reggie’s house (dude he was playing ball with early on in the movie, ErnieHudson).  Jim looks like he isn’t feeling well as he is starting to withdrawal.  Jim announces that he needs to leave and puts on his jacket and searches through the pockets and angrily asks Reggie, “Where is it?”  Reggie pulls out a baggie and Jim tells him to give it back and threatens Reggie.  Reggie kicks Jim’s ass.  Jim asks why he is doing this.  Reggie replies, “Because a long time ago someone helped me and I always pay what I owe.”

Reggie stands by while Jim sweats it out miserably.  A couple days later Jim seems to be doing a little better.  Until Reggie goes to work and Jim runs out looking for a “taste.”  Jim has no money and cannot find any friends so he results in prostitution.  Jim finds Mickey and tries to cop and they get ripped off and chase the dealer into a building and onto a roof.  Mickey pushes the dealer off the roof by accident.  Jim goes to his mother’s house but she doesn’t let him in or give him any money.  Jim’s mother calls the police and he is taken away.

There is a happy ending though….as we find that after 6 months in Riker’s Island was the “rock bottom” that Jim needed in order to find his recovery.

Would I recommend this title to future clients?

I definitely would.  Especially because of the fact that this film is pretty realistic and could potentially be applied to most situations as it depicts a realistic story in which chemical dependency slowly unravels and destroys lives.

Did this film depict chemical dependency in a real and honest way?  Why/Why Not?  

Real and honest? Yes, Very much so.  Perhaps this was partly because of the depiction from the book and I’m sure having a “drug-specialist” on set was helpful in doing so as well. 

Examples:

 

1.  towards the end of the movie when neighborhood friend, Reggie (played by Ernie Hudson), brings Jim to his apartment in an attempt to rehabilitate Jim.  The temper tantrums and scheming are all very realistic on Jim’s part.  Reggie then leaves Jim alone due to his having to go to work and Jim takes it upon himself to scour the apartment for any sort of valuables that Jim can sell to get a fix.

2.        Jim Narrates, “did I ever tell you about the first time I did heroin?” as the camera goes into flashback mode and shows the old, run-down innards of some sort of building with concrete walls and rubble, dust, and rocks everywhere.  Jim goes on to explain, “I was just going to sniff a bag, but a guy says ‘if you’re gonna sniff, you might as well pop it, and if you’re gonna pop it, might as well mainline.’ I was scared of needles but I gave in.”  Then we see Jim running through a field of chest-high pink and red flowers in the sunlight.   

He goes on to describe the feeling of heroin:

“It was like a heat wave through my body, any ache or pain or sadness or guilty feeling was completely flushed out.”

3.        Jim is in his bed writing in his journal describing his drug use:  “first it’s a Saturday night thing and you feel cool like you’re a gangster or a rock star.  It’s just something to kill the boredom, you know?  They call it a chippie, a small habit.  It feels so good, you start doing it on Tuesdays then Thursdays.  Then it’s got you.  Every wise-ass punk on the block says it won’t happen to them, but it does.”

4.        Jim describes heroin withdrawal:          

  “Your nose is running, your stomach cramps, your legs feel like they played six straight games on top of each other, and the voice is always there in the back of your head…’Just one more time then we’ll stop!’”  Jim writes in his poetry book.  Followed by more basketball..yay.  Then the creepy basketball coach coming onto Jim – offering him money as he makes sexual advances.

>>>This is a pretty accurate description of the beginning symptoms of withdrawal.<<<

5.        After Jim gets kicked out and expelled/quit school, the 3 of them (Jim, Mickey, and Pedro) are in a shooting gallery shooting dope and bullshitting.  Then Jim starts bullshitting with some older dope fiend (who is played by the real Jim Carroll).  As Jim’s mother is praying and crying.   Diane (Juliette Lewis) is then scrounging around and asking if anyone is holding; she picks Jim’s head up and tells him she wants some of what he’s got.

>>>This is so very accurate.  Us Dope fiends when we are looking for the beast, tend to look at others and find the most fucked up looking person (or people) just to ask them where they got theirs from.<<<

Is this movie more about Recovery or drugs/addiction?

This movie undoubtedly depicts the hardships of addiction.  There is however a glimpse of Mr. Carroll’s recovery at the end after a six month stint at Riker’s Island for assault, robbery, resisting arrest, and possession of narcotics.  Mr. Carroll informs viewers through his narration that he “sweated out a horrible cure and stayed clean the whole stretch” regardless of the fact it was “easier to get good junk in here than it is on the street.”  Apparently Carroll kept busy with reading his journals and writing.

Is this movie uplifting or just sad?

It was truly just fucking SAD for the most part.  In looking at this movie in an abstract way you can definitely see the slow downward spiral of chemical dependency and what it can do to anyone’s life.  Replace basketball with any hobby as this movie shows the decline in care and participation in the game.  Jim being expelled could simply translate into just that or someone losing their job.  While Jim’s being kicked out of his house can of course translate over to the decay of close relationships.

Fortunately in the end Jim turned it all around.  As most of us are aware, addiction leads to JAILS, INSTITUTIONS, or DEATH.  Jim’s lead him to jail (prison, Riker’s Island) where Jim made the choice not to keep going down the path he was headed.  As a gifted writer, Jim ended up turning his negatives into positives.  With the right perspective this movie could give hope to some individuals that could use it.  It’s amazing how some can get lost in the purgatory of chemical dependency and recovery but with the right mentor/sponsor, and/or hearing just one person’s story, making a connection…it really can make a world of difference for someone.

Best and worst moments?

The prostitution scene was rather hard to watch as this was very real to me.  Most of us in our addiction hit an all-time low (whatever it may be) and especially empathizing with the character here because he was sober at the time after a couple of days of being drug-free.  One’s emotions and senses are out of control at this point (smells are stronger, skin is more sensitive, and emotions are just uncontrollable.)  So to go through something that one may have even said they would “never” do…once you go through all of your “nevers” it’s hard to see yourself as “human” …. until you find recovery and learn to forgive yourself.

QUOTES:

“Know this: There’s different types of users of junk.  You got your rich dilettante square-ass who dabbles now and then and always has enough money to run off to the Riviera if he feels he’s fucking around to the danger point.  Street Junkies hate these pricks, but they’re always suckers, and their money makes them tolerable.

Then you got your upper-middle-class Westchester preppies, same as the others basically.  What they’re good for is opening their Mommy and Daddy’s eyes to the social virus and putting pressure on the government to do something about it.  Then there’s us street kids. Start fucking around very young, 13 or so…We think we all got it under control and won’t get strung out.  This rarely works.  I’m living proof.  But in the end you just to see the junk as another 9-to-5 gig. The hours just a bit more inclined to shadows.”

--Jim Carroll

And at the end of the movie we learn that Mr. Carroll completed what would later be known as “The Basketball Diaries” by the age of 17.  By age 22, he had published three renowned volumes of poetry and later recorded four albums.

Mr. Carroll, the acclaimed poet, musician, novelist, and performer, resided in New York and continued to write until the fatal heart attack that took his life on September 11, 2009.

Did I miss anything?  Leave anything out?  What did some of these scenes do for some of you out there??  Please, don’t be shy…comment!!!!

Thanks for reading!  Please comment and subscribe! 

Next Movie I will be reviewing:   Factory Girl, 2006.

Down To the Bone - Movie Review

Down to the Bone:   

WARNING:  There will be spoilers if you care about such a thing.

This movie was released in 2004 and stars Hugh Dillion, ClintJordan (who recently portrayed Michael Viner on the series The People v. OJ Simpson), and one of my personal favorite actors, Vera Farmiga (The Departed, The Conjuring 1&2, and the series Bates Motel).  The reason I am so fond of Ms. Farmiga is because she adds such rawness and realness to all of her performances;  making CRAZY BITCHES look so awesomely/beautifully chic since the late 90’s.

Basically, this movie is about:    A woman stuck in a stale marriage struggles to raise her children and manage her secret drug habit. But when winter comes to her small town, her balancing act begins to come crashing down.

Lily Says:       Irene is in the pre-contemplation stage of change as she is only coming to the conclusion that she may have a problem and doesn’t quite grasp the risks and problems with her current behaviors linked to her cocaine usage.  After a small stint in a rehabilitation facility, Irene is able to stay sober for a short while until she meets a dude followed by the happenings of things and stuff...and...

(((((SPOILERS LIKE A MOFO ---DOWN BELOW – DUH!!)))))

Down to the Bone opens with Irene (Farmiga) working as a check-out clerk at a grocery store.  After the scene where she is working her mediocre, dead end job, we see Irene getting her two kids ready to go trick or treating.  Seems like the perfect happy family situation until Irene goes into the bathroom and snorts cocaine off of the bathroom sink.  While she is out trick or treating she comes across a party where she meets Bob.  After her night of Trick-Or-Treating she is sitting alone on the couch and her husband comes home with beer and she asks him if she brought her anything (her drug of choice, of course).

The REAL “FUN” begins when Irene attempts to use her son’s birthday check as payment to her drug dealer.  

 

Irene breaks down and cries alone in her car as she realizes she may be at her all-time low.  Followed by Irene in an intake scene at a rehabilitation clinic where she readily admits that her drug of choice is “coke” and that she prefers to “sniff” it as her preferred method of use and has been using since “high school.”  When asked if she has ever tried to stop prior to this attempt, she admits that she has in the past attempted to stop “lots of times.”  The intake coordinator/counselor then asks if her employer knows where she is and Irene informs him that he is on vacation and then the counselor asks if there are any problems with job or job performance or “anything like that” to which she acknowledges that there are no employment problems. 

Irene seems rather introverted and timid during the intake process as she is mostly looking down and playing with the frays coming out of the hole in her jeans.  Irene is then asked if her sons are aware of her drug use; Irene is still playing with her frays, pauses for a moment to think about it and adds “that’s a good question.”  Then Irene immediately protests, “Um, NO!”  The counselor then informs Irene that the way this is going to work is if they can be straight and honest with each other:   “It’s a little hard for me to piece together that you use coke and then there is no employment problems and it’s not a big problem in your life.  I mean that’s a lot of drug use for a lot of years – you might be surprised what your kids are aware of.”

Cut to:      Irene in her generic, unadorned and unattractively decorated room inside the facility on her standard-issue mattress with the sheets sitting next to her, folded neatly.

Now, I realize that they had to make the intake scene short and sweet for timing purposes (or what have you), but I felt that it was a little too short.  This was the opportune time to inform 

the audience of Irene’s struggles of being married to a twit, 

raising two sons all while harboring her secrets and pains while 

self-medicating with cocaine. Also, when the counselor informs Irene about being honest and “that’s a lot of drug use for a lot of years….”  BUT Irene never said HOW MUCH coke she was using on a daily or weekly basis for him to make that assumption, nor did Irene make it known if her drug use was constant or if there had been periods of sobriety or anything.  Irene did mention she had tried to stop in the past but was not asked to list the length and periods of sobriety.

Irene runs into her new friend (the male nurse, whom is also in recovery) from the Halloween party, Bob, as she is waiting for the phones (which, of course, are all in use by other patients at the facility).  “So, you really are a male-nurse” she sneers in observation.  

So I guess it was just a happy coincidence that Irene broke down and landed herself in the recovery facility at which, Bob, 

the awesome male nurse is employed.

A little later Irene is sitting with one of her new friends and her daughter.  Then husband comes to see her, alone, and Irene asks him where the kids are.  To which he replies “Oh, they don’t need to see this place.”  Irene points out that they come to see HER and the fact that other people brought their kids.  There is no contact between the two and Irene looks heavily disappointed.

I LOVE when people automatically use this as an excuse, and by “LOVE” 

I mean I have this abhorrence and hatred to these unimaginative, stupid, stuck-up dumb asses.  Irene couldn’t be more correct in pointing out that the kids would be there to see her.  The two kids have probably never been separated 

from their mother for this long, first of all, so why the hell not bring the kids so 

they can see that their mother is doing alright and she is not trying to 

abandon them.  The two sons look to be about 8 and 10 so this could 

very well be a fear of theirs, not knowing where mommy is and daddy 

doesn’t really look as though he could handle the daily grind of taking care 

of two kids and all the FUN that comes along with the role of “daddy + mommy.”  Secondly, this might even bring more motivation towards Irene 

at this stage – being away from her sons for so long and probably wanting 

to leave just so she can get back into her routine of motherhood and making 

sure that the boys are cared for in a mommy-way.   However, in one of the 

next scenes Irene is in a group counseling session and is asked why she is there.   

“For my kids,” replies Irene.  I LOVE that the counselor says “So, your kids 

came to you and said, ‘mommy, let’s go to rehab!’ Is that how that went? 

…it’s a lot more than your kids, isn’t it, Irene?”  This is such a cop-out answer 

to say you’re trying to find recovery because of your kids.  I was told 

“Your kids didn’t keep you sober before, so why would they keep you on the straight and narrow path now?”  Yes!  That’s a really big responsibility if it falls on them.   

I was also told, as I was in the early moments of motherhood way, way, way back when that I would be useless to my son if I didn’t take care of myself as well.  

 I would love for more people to realize and know this.  Sure the kids can be a partial motivator, but how about good health, a clear head, strong mind, wholesome spirit, and just like not missing out on LIFE??  I know my list is endless, and of course people don’t always apprehend such an extensive list in the beginning stages of recovery as they are just coming to grips with the effects of their drug usage.  

 THIS IS WHY IT IS HELPFUL TO STAY IN CHECK WITH ONESELF AND GIVE 

GRATITUDE ON A DAILY BASIS.  Oh, and PS, Spiritual Principles are not only helpful for people in recovery!!  Perhaps most of us are fortunate to get a crash course before we do ourselves in for good…Just sayin’.

Irene leaves the rehab and gets back to her family life – picking out tiles, washing her kids’ hair in the kitchen sink, cooking, etc.  Irene attends a meeting-which appears to be Bob’s home group and they go out to get something to eat afterwards but the pizza shop is closed. 

It seems that Irene’s stress begins at Thanksgiving when her husband takes her to a turkey farm to pick out a bird to cook and she doesn’t seem like she is too enthusiastic about having to prep and cook a live turkey.  She perseveres as it shows Thanksgiving Day with Irene and her husband hosting two friends for the occasion (the kids are playing upstairs) as there is a knock at the front door.  Irene answers the door to a drug dealer that is selling some pills to the two guests that obviously have no respect for the fact that they are in the home of a recovery addict and a brainless dumbass.  Irene is asked to partake in some pill-fun by her guests and she turns them down and goes upstairs to check on her kids.

Irene starts cleaning houses for work, after losing her grocery job, with the girl that she met in the rehab facility.  She then decides to hang out with Bob afterwards and he takes her to a tattoo shop where she gets her nostril pierced.  They go back to a hotel and get busy…then Bob does some smack and Irene catches him and gets mad and almost leaves.  Irene then gets stupid and goes back in and does some smack as well. 

Cut to: Irene walking in her house all effed up and Husband asks her where she’s been and she gives a lame excuse that hardly makes sense and is much less believable but I guess Husband buys it.  The next morning Irene’s son tries to get her out of bed but she is feeling like crap (because that is how it makes you feel after one night of using).

She goes to work and her girl-friend informs her that she is “13^th –stepping!”  Irene doesn’t know what that is and gets informed that it’s when you get “too lazy, too horny, you get distracted.  When you have that hole inside and you just need to fill it.”

Irene and Bob get arrested and she separates from her husband shortly after this happens.  After getting prison waived in front of her face, Irene seems to be getting along and doing her required meetings, groups, and urinalysis and making the best of her situation.  Irene moves into a new house and doesn’t see bob for a while.  Bob pops back up and tells Irene he felt guilty so he didn’t come around for a while (when in reality, he was most likely in the crackhouse and shooting gallery being a BAD little BOB!)  After he apologizes, Bob seems to frequent Irene’s new place more and more.

Bob goes with a friend to pick up a script and asks for some (some sort of benzo) and the guy asks him to help him sell them and Bob says he can’t then goes on to explain that he fell off the wagon and he is taking methadone but he is trying to get down to 0 on the methadone so he can go back to meetings

Reality Check:  you don’t need to be off of methadone to attend a meeting.  As they say in the beginning of each meeting, the only requirement is the DESIRE to quit using.  Bob seems to be using this as an excuse. 

Irene walks in while Bob is “sleeping” and asks him if he is OK and he says he thinks his tolerance has gone down and his dose maybe too high.  Then the suspecting Irene asks her kids about the time they spend with Bob, and they tell her that Bob naps a lot. 

Irene then confronts Bob, again, and he says he is on methadone but Irene doesn’t believe him so he tells her he is taking an “anti-anxiety (benzodiazepine) pill to “smooth out the rough edges.”  Irene catches on right away…”On top of the methadone? So it feels like dope?”  She then puts her foot down and tells Bob that if he is doing that then he can’t stay at her place anymore.  Bob leaves but turns around and comes back to the door where Irene is standing and watching – “I’ll never stay clean if I’m alone – I have no one else” Irene stands there and looks at him in silence.  Bob walks away.

 

NICE TRY, BOB…Guilt trips are not cool!  The ending was a bit sudden, so it seems and at first thought, I just felt like it was too sudden and didn’t make sense but after a little more thought, I think it’s a nice ending.  Perhaps this is the point where Irene figures out that she is in the predicament that she is in because of her using and because of hanging out with the wrong people.  Irene is newly single and trying to comply with her groups and meetings while raising her kids and working with her friend from the rehabilitation facility cleaning houses.  Irene showed strength is confronting Bob, asking him if he was clean, and then not believing his bullshit and telling him to walk.  That really does take amazing strength to confront someone like that and most people will never know how much strength and character it truly takes as a woman who is newly separated from her husband and raising two kids.  I really got a sense that Irene was trying to do things on the straight and narrow.  This movie ended right as Irene’s true recovery begins.

THE FIVE QUESTIONS THAT I MUST ANSWER….

1.    Would I recommend this title to future clients?

Yes, I most likely would, especially to someone who justifies their drug use.  This movie depicts how quickly one can be introduced to and pick up a new drug of choice as they struggle to deal with life on life’s terms. 

*In order for chem deppers to heal, one must live an extraordinary life.  One must not return to their old habits and ways but build a new life or else the old habits and ways will only reintroduce the chem depper back to their poisonous lifestyles and substances.

2.    Did this film depict chemical dependency in a real and honest way?  Why/Why Not?  

 Yes.  I noticed a lot of things in this movie that I have witnessed, experienced, or heard about through fellow chem deppers in their journeys.

1.  Cut to:     Irene sitting in the kitchen and husband enters smoking a joint and says, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be smoking this in here.”  Irene tells him “it’s ok, gimme that” and takes a puff.  Husband then shows her a card that directs sexual contact and Irene comments that she can’t do it sober.  Husband pulls out some coke and Irene partakes.

Why is it whenever someone is trying to refrain from using, it’s usually put in front of them.  Some say it’s a test of strength but I’ve had this happen even after changing people, places, and things.

2.  Cut to:     Irene gets called into the boss’ office at her mediocre grocery store job after he belt breaks on her checkout line.  Then unfriendly/nerdy boss brings to Irene’s attention that his printout indicates that she is “much slower, has excessive voids, and is not particularly courteous to the customers.”  Followed by the boss’ asking, “Is there a personal problem you’d like to discuss with us?” Irene looks confused and uncomfortable (or CONFUNCOMFORTABLE) and tells him “I don’t have anything to share.”  Boss then informs Irene that whatever the “thing” is he has to write her up and he persists that he needs to know because he cannot help her unless he knows what is going on.  Irene then confesses “Well, basically, I used to be good and fast because I was high most of the time….but now I’m clean, so yeah, I’m slower…So you gonna write me up?”  Boss informs her “Irene, you know our policy on drugs.  Thank you.”  

Rather fucked that she gets fired because of the fact that Irene is no longer getting high but this does happen.  Unfortunately, honesty is not always rewarded.  Especially for chem deppers – Just as the knockers use the old 

“If you hand over the drugs, we will let you go!”  - 

YEAH, OK.  That is NEVER the CASE!   

Unfortunately, we live in a society where people fear what they do not know.  

 So if one confesses their old habits, they very well may get judged by ignorant eyes.  This is why in the rooms you will hear “not everything is for everyone.”  TRUTH!  Watch what you tell and to whom.

3.  Cut to:     Irene is steadily going downhill and seeing Bob more and more and now it seems that shooting smack has become a regular occurrence for Irene.  While out together Bob and Irene get arrested when Bob gets pulled over and the cop asks “Is that a cooker?” and they both told him “It’s an ashtray!”  (I love how the lies us chem. Deppers tell people seem completely logical and rational at the time as we really think we are fooling someone but when you witness this happening, it’s outlandishly incredible.

Irene gets sentenced through drug court to go to 50 one on one and 100 group and 150 NA meetings and if she screws up during the year, she gets the maximum sentence (8-25 years).  Irene chooses drug court instead of facing the minimum 1-3 years in state prison for the felony of carrying half an ounce, (which the cops found in the car or on Bob, I’m guessing. )

Bob finally pops up after a couple of days and Irene asks where he’s been and he told her that he felt bad for getting her tied up in all the “bullshit” and he thought she wouldn’t want to see him.  They go for a drive to talk but we don’t know what happened exactly but in the next scene husband is dropping off the kids and Irene is at her new place and mildly freaking out because she has no food or furniture for the kids.  Husband doesn’t seem to care and comments that he has a date and takes off.  Bob comes out as Irene is settling in the snake terrarium and greets the kids.

Nothing like a first arrest and a criminal record to wake one up from the disorderly and precarious haze he/she has been entrapped in.  

LAST ONE, I promise…

4.  Cut to:     Irene is in her room, alone, at the rehab facility when Bob enters and hands her the cigarette and asks “So, you’re leaving us!?” Irene slowly takes a drag of the cigarette and replies with “yeah, yeah, I gotta get outta here.” 

“Think you’re ready to go back out? ….Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to stay a little longer?” Bob adds.  Irene with a frustrated brow answers, “I can’t, I gotta work, I got a job, kids…”  Bob then informs Irene, “The kids aren’t gonna keep you clean, you’re the only one that can do it and you have half a chance if you stay here.”  Just when it seemed as though Irene was thinking about staying a little longer, we cut to Irene back at her home-life.

This was a very realistic depiction of a chem depper trying to resist change.  Using kids, job, husband, etc. as an excuse to leave rehab early is a very common excuse.  Sure 28 days, 6 mos., 1 year (whatever the length of stay is for the rehab – as they vary, of course) may seem like a long time but it’s amazing the excuses and reasons people try to take on an early absence.

1.    Is this movie more about Recovery or drugs/addiction?

BOTH!  I really wrote this question because I don’t feel there is usually a gray area for this question and I didn’t want to settle in the gray, but this movie just might be.  Whereas this movie depicts Irene’s issues and the audience really gets a sense of the fact that she has been struggling with her addiction for a long time (since high school, as she stated), she is struggling with her recovery in this point in her life.  Recovery can have a few slippery slopes and faulty steps to someone who is completely new at this but if one is willing to go to any lengths and do anything and all in order to get RECOVERY, it shall be granted.  Irene fell for the classic rehab romance (which usually, 96.8%* of the time is just a toxic, Jurassic fuck up waiting to explode all over the freshly perfumed doilies).  This movie, as most will realize at the end of, is the very end of her addiction and ends at the very beginning of Irene’s recovery.  

“WHAT DID I JUST WATCH?”    ----     If this question comes to mind, please note that you just watched Irene’s purgatory of addiction/recovery … if there was such a thing.

2.    Is this movie uplifting or just sad?

My first take on this movie as the credits appeared on the screen was “WTF? HOW IS THIS OVER?”  But after a moment’s thought, that was the best ending for this movie.  I then realized that this movie wasn’t really about a woman’s struggles with recovery but rather the beginning of her beginning of her recovery and her new life.  Sure, the ending could be analyzed and interpreted in different ways, so for me, Irene’s turning away Bob was her way of realizing that he is toxic and she is better off on her own.  I could see in the end that Irene truly wanted her recovery as she comes to realize that it will not happen by waiting for Bob or his excuses.  Some people may not realize how much courage it takes for someone to stand up and do the *right* thing but when it actually happens, it’s a profoundly powerful moment.

3.    Best and worst moments?  This movie has a lot of ups and downs as well as good/bad moments.

BAD Moment:  One of the first moments that pop into my mind are the moments when Irene is trying very hard to resist any and all urges to use but it is put before her time after time (e.g. thanksgiving when her friends’ dealer came to her door and they offered her some pills; When her husband came into the kitchen smoking a joint and basically waived it in front of her face; and finally when BOB shot some dope in the bathroom after they had coitus.)

And I just want to add that it’s a BAD moment when anyone breaks their marriage vows and cheats on his/her spouse; regardless of whether or not the spouse is a complete douche-noodle (Just my personal opinion on home-wreckers).

GOOD Moment:     Maybe it’s the feminist in me, but I am a bit of a sucker for Girl-Power and empowering moments for women, so I would definitely have to say the end of the movie where Irene tells Bob to beat it.  It was pretty cool of her to stand up and show the strength that I wasn’t even sure she had at that point.

Next Movie I will be reviewing:   Basketball Diaries, 1995.

Note:  Funny fact -  I was asked about my blog by a friend and he was praising me for all my crazy rants (imagine that) ...so anyway, he mentioned Basketball Diaries, and I confessed that I had NEVER seen that movie (insert gasps and shock-screeches here) so I promised him that it would be the next movie that I would rant and rave about!